


Given

by Vvalentae



Category: Given (Anime)
Genre: Depression, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Triangles, M/M, Mafuyu is just confused, Multi, Music, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Slow Romance, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:00:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24040963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vvalentae/pseuds/Vvalentae
Summary: "i'll do anything for you!""are you willing to die for me then?!"what if yuuki never commits suicide, but mafuyu has to live with the guilt of him almost killing his boyfriend. mafuyu wants to find the reason of why band was so important to yuuki yoshida, he also meets uenoyama ritsuka along the throughout his journey, read to find out!
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Murata Ugetsu, Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki, Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka, Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka/Yoshida Yuuki, Satou Mafuyu/Yoshida Yuuki
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys new story here! i had this idea in my head and suddenly i just started writing. i think i'm gonna keep writing this because i feel like this will be more fun! 
> 
> please enjoy and have fun reading! next part is coming in few days! .
> 
> thank you for reading .

Given | 

"I'll do anything for you!" 

yuuki puts his hands on mafuyu's shoulder only to get pushed away, his eyes gleamed with complete anger and betrayal.   
how could he choose something so meaningless over someone he loved, how come he would always put band over mafuyu, and that was how mafuyu felt. 

"are you willing to die for me then?!" 

he yelled as his ear popped due to the immense feelings, that was stored up in his heart. how could he be so selfish, how could he be so ignorant. how could he say that to the person he loved so dearly ..

he remembers that day so clearly like it happened a few hours ago. 

mafuyu sat in the white hospital chairs as his partner fought for his life in a failed suicide attempt, he was willing to die for mafuyu if it meant showing him how his life meant nothing if mafuyu wasn't in it.

"sweetie it's time to go home" yuuki's mother stepped in and waited at the door. 

'ms.yoshida, what a wonderful lady' mafuyu thought, he sighed took one last look at yuuki, kissed his forehead and walked out of the room bidding goodbye.

mafuyu wanted to throw up. he felt like shit, he felt like he had no reason to say something like that, why would he say something like that. why couldn't they just talk it out like normal human beings. mafuyu wanted to cry his eyes out as if he hadn't already. 

as he sat near the window of the train he looked at the passing buildings and lights, he stares at the clouds as the sun shone through them. 

\- -

he entered his flat taking his shoes off at the door step, having to be greeted by his small dog,kedama, he smile softly as he pet the soft animal and walked over to his bedroom and slumped his body onto the bed. 

he laid there for hours, regretting his whole life, wanting to throw his whole life away if it meant deleting this memory forever. but he has to live with this, this is his karma.

he cried and cried, praying to the gods for forgiveness only to be left with empty thoughts and shallow feelings as he continued to lay there and feel guilty. he bombarded yuki's phone with hundreds of text messages incase he would wake up from his short term comma, a comma to rest his body from: stress, alcohol and asphyxiation that was implemented to the body.

doctors say he should wake up in two weeks if he's healing well, and the news made mafuyu feel at peace. 

\- - 

morning arises and it was thursday, he missed three days of school to see yuuki in the hospital but he knew it'll be a consequence if he missed a whole week so he decided he'll see yuuki after school since he has no plans anyways.

mafuyu gets ready and heads to the train station.

he stands behind the yellow line as he waits for the train to arrive, he notices two females talking loudly about their dates with their boyfriend the previous night and that made mafuyu smile dearly. 

the train arrived and mafuyu stood near the door and stared outside at the window, he missed the scent of yuuki, how he smelled of safe and security and how intoxicating it was but enjoyed to it's full intent. 

he arrived at school and removed his shoes and out on the slippers that was designated to him, yuuki and his band members went to a different school from mafuyu so it saved him from having to run into the them in the halls .

lunch time came around and mafuyu sat in the empty stair case and slowly began to fall asleep. 

Uenoyama Ritsuka

he had been looking forward to a nap all day and finally he felt as if today was the day to do so. as he closed the door that led to the empty staircase he had always been at, he spots a reddish slash orange haired male sleeping soundly at the top of the stair case.

he got irritated and sighed 

'out of every other day today is the day you ruin my precious nap! i stayed up all night working on lyrics and this is how i get paid? god!" 

"huh? oh i'm sorry am i in your way?" mafuyu sat up and scooted over .

"don't worry about it" 

uenoyama walked up the stairs and laid next to mafuyu and softly drifted to sleep.

to be awaken of course.

"are you in a band?" mafuyu spoke softly 

"yes i am, but more like a rock band" uenoyama said as he yawned and scratched his black hair

"what do you play?" mafuyu asked 

"guitar"

"can i watch?" mafuyu asked

"what? i don't even know you" uenoyama sat you and glared at the boy, he wanted to understand why this male was being so persistent.

"i'm mafuyu sato, pleasure to meet you" the color haired male said as he reached his hand out to shake the other guys hand.

"i'm uenoyama ritsuka" he shook the other males hand and looked at him closely 

he had sad eyes, eyes that were lost and needed to find someone or something to grab onto with dear life .

"and no you cannot come and see my band play, you're weird" uenoyama said as he turned his back to mafuyu as he laid there and grumbled something under his breath. 

"what? why?" mafuyu pleaded 

"s' you're weird now leave me alone" he said and mafuyu silently gave up .

after school mafuyu followed uenoyama to his practices 

"go home and stop following me" silence filled the air 

uenoyama started to walk faster but mafuyu kept the same speed, but hid quickly as uenoyama suddenly stopped and make a quick turn around to see if he still was there, he was, he grumbled and sighed and made his to the studio where they held band practice.

..."and so i was sitting there and he just cut a huge clump of my hair off and—" haruki suddenly stopped his conversation with akihiko as he saw an unfamiliar face enter the room.

"greetings, i'm mafuyu sato im here to watch you guys play" mafuyu introduces hisself respectfully and bowed but uenoyama caught an attitude quickly .

"he wouldn't stop following me! hes a stalker! do something haruki-san" uenoyama cried in frustration as he ranted badly about mafuyu, but mafuyu hadn’t payed no mind but admired the bass, the drum set and all the equipment lying around on the floor.

"maybe we can use this chance to reevaluate our skills to a newbie" akihiko said as he patted his chin and thought throughly.

"yes you're right, maybe this is our chance to seem cool!" haruki said as he gleamed with joy.

"that's so not the point right now!" uenoyama yelled in frustration but the two older guys laughed and instructed him to calm down.

"so mafuyu was it?—"

"yes"

"what would you like us to play?"akihiko said 

"something cool"

-


	2. 02

Given| 

after the band played their selected song, mafuyu clapped and was actually in awe, his eyes beamed with excitement, he rambled told them how much he enjoyed their performance . they chatted about music and different bands genres of music for about ten more minutes when mafuyu checked them time and panicked a bit.

"um-..sorry guys i have some where to be right now and i'm kind of late.. can i come tomorrow to watch you all play again?" he asked with desperation in his voice.

"y-yeah sure, anytime. we're pleased that you enjoyed our performance" haruki said with delight and gave mafuyu and soft smile.

"i'll see you all tomorrow thank you for having me" mafuyu bowed and exited to the studio and ran to the nearest train station.

he panted as he tapped his card and used the stairs to get to the train area. as mafuyu waited he began to feel guilty, he made a promise to himself that everyday he would meet yuuki at the hospital and spend quality time and hoped that he would wake up from the coma.

as the train slowly came to a stop and the doors open, mafuyu walked in and sat near the window as he usually does and watched as the sun began to set, it was only 5:46pm and visiting hours ended at 7:00pm so he had plenty of time to spend with yuuki. he wanted to tell yuuki about his day and how he watched a band perform today. 

-

he entered the hospital and spoke to the lady upfront, she was familiar with the orange haired male that she just already had his name tag ready for him to pick up, mafuyu assumed she'd done that with every familiar face she see's, or maybe it's his hair that why he's so familiar and she expected him to be here.

mafuyu sighed and waited for the elevator doors to open, he needed to be up on the second floor. it would've been easier to take the stairs but mafuyu's kind of lazy so he insisted on waiting.

the doors finally opened and he stepped inside pressing the sending floor button, another dark haired guy stepped in but no words were exchanged.

"meeting a loved one?" the guy asks

"yes" mafuyu said shortly not wanting a conversation 

"me too, my girlfriend is sick and it's gotten really bad" the guy groans and ruffles his hair in frustration.

"i'm sorry to hear.." mafuyu says sincerely but hoping he wouldn't have to say another word to this guy.

silence fills the air and the door opens to the second floor, mafuyu steps out and bows then bids goodbye and a good luck to his girlfriend that was unfortunately bedridden.

he meets up with yuuki's assigned room and walks in, he spots yuuki's sleeping form and he walks over to him and sets his bag aside while pulling up a chair for him to sit. he greets and began to tell yuuki about his day, but with no response after he finishes.

there mafuyu is left with guilt all over again.

-

Uenoyama Ritsuka |

after mafuyu left the band began to have a run through of the different songs they had so far, there was an upcoming event and they wanted to make sure that their selections were just top notch.

"ue, have you been writing lately?" haruki said as he took off his bass and sat it aside.

"i have but only just instrumentals, i want to write lyrics but i've come with nothing... plus neither of you can sing so it'll be pointless" uenoyama said with no emotion what so ever .

"gasp! that's so rude" haruki said as he gave an offended look and akihiko just laughed it off.

they all packed their things and cleaned up the place before closing the door and leaving the building. haruki has to leave because of the part time job he had so he bid his goodbye before leaving in his van.

"you want a ride?" akihiko asked uenoyama and he nodded and took a seat on the bike.

"so' what do you think of sado" akihiko asked.

"it's sato, i don't really know he seems pretty fond of our group so i think he'll be back tomorrow for sure.. he's kind of weird" uenoyama said as they rode through the streets of their city.

"hes not weird, he's just lost. have you seen the look in his eyes whenever he looks at the instruments" akihiko said.

"no not really i was more focused on playing my best" 

"this kid" akihiko laughed a bit and slowed down as he rolled up on uenoyama's place.

"thank you! i'll see you tomorrow at practice. goodnight" uenoyama waves as akihiko drives off into the streets.

he entered his home to his sister screaming her head off, he simply ignored the situation and went to his room.

taking out his music notebook and guitar to write music for the upcoming event.

-

Mafuyu Sato

mafuyu sat outside yuki's room as he cried softly, wiping the tears as he tried to pull himself together. he was so hurt, so selfish, so sad that he let the love of his life get to this point. he regretted everything that day, he regretted yelling at him about something he could've just spoke to him about, resolved maturely.

but how was mafuyu to blame, how could he not feel that way of never seeing his boyfriend only to be met with messages at 11:40pm and maybe on a good day 7:20pm, yuuki was so busy he never spared time for mafuyu, he was always with his friends at band practice ignoring his messages, he was always at work: late. even on weekends mafuyu still didnt spend time with him, it was worse because they didn't even go to the same school. 

mafuyu was just tired and enraged he just wanted to see yuuki like it was back when they were little, everything was perfect when they were little.

"mafuyu? hey there dear" yuuki's mother appeared from the corner with a bouquet of flowers, for yuuki. he felt so bad, he felt like garbage he shouldn't be here and his mother shouldn't be this nice to him. he's the reason why they're in this mess. 

"oh dear, stop those tears" his mother sat next to him on the bench and comforted him as he cried softly against her.

"i-im sorry, i didn't mean what i said. i didn't want him to end up like this" mafuyu cried, the tears streamed down like waterfalls. he was hurt, he was scared that yuuki wouldn't wake up. 

"baby, we all make mistakes. i know you didn't mean it, you love him too much and it was just a stupid argument. he's stupid because he tried to leave you like that" his mother said as she rubbed mafuyu's back as he choked on his tears and spit.

"i still love you, and i know he still loves you! yuukis going to wake up finer than ever. don't you worry, then you can properly apologize and you'll both be okay" his mother said with words of assurance.

mafuyu nodded and hugged her tightly, he always admired ms.yoshida. she was always positive and always said he right things. she was very supportive of their relationship and he even loved her even more.

he just wished they weren't in this situation in the first place.

"i know visiting hours are over so i'll take you home because it's quite dark outside" she said, mafuyu's nodded as he wiped the tears and snots that were coming from his face. 

she sat the flowers on the desk next to yuuki and kissed his forehead before walking outside where mafuyu waited.

they both exited the building and entered the car that was parked in the parking lot.

she started the car and began to drive towards mafuyu's apartment.

the pole lights flicker as they drove down the road, and mafuyu leaned his head towards the window and focused deeply on his breathing. he was feelings kind of tired after his break down at the hospital, so he started to drift off.

-

they arrived at mafuyu's place and he exited the car and thanked her so many times, he walked into his apartment and was greeted by his little dog, his mood began to shift a bit as he saw the white dog.

he walked into the bathroom and washed his face then changed into his pajamas, and slumped against the soft pillows and duvet covers. 

he prayed to the gods or whoever that was up there to heal yuuki, and to help him with his problem that was weighing his heart down. 

-  
mafuyu had a weird dream, he dreamt of the day he and yuuki had their fight. 

but instead of yuuki being in the hospital, he actually died a worse gruesome death and everyone hated him and they wanted him dead instead of yuuki.

mafuyu woke up with sweat dripping from his forehead and his clothes soaked. his heart rate was well over 100, he was afraid he was so scared he bang to cry, he felt exhausted he was tired of crying and hurting and feeling guilty. 

he calmed down a bit, then he wondered to himself.

"why don't i understand yuuki's passion for music maybe that'll bring some closure, maybe it'll make me understand why yuuki enjoys it so much"

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all enjoyed this chapter! i hope you don’t mind me updating every other day and i’m sorry if it gets boring! but again i hope you enjoyed this and please be aware of my next update in two to three day’s!


	3. Chapter 3

Given | 

Day by day passes and mafuyu has been spending time with uenoyama so often, to him following him to the studio to him waiting outside of his class when the bell rings. 

it was lunch time and it's seen that mafuyu is sound asleep at their usual spot, the place where they first met.

this time today mafuyu had something that poked interest in uenoyama, instead he didn't say anything but stood at the foot of the stairs staring intensely at mafuyu at the top of stairs. mafuyu had awoken at the uneasy feeling he felt.

"oh hey uenoyama" mafuyu said groggily as he scooted over to let the other male sit next to him. uenoyama walked up the stairs and sat next to mafuyu. 

"so you play now?" uenoyama asks him while nodding at the large instrument on the back of him.

"no not quiet, i've just been walking around with this thing all day" mafuyu says blankly as he squishes his hands against the insides of his thighs.

"lemme see" uenoyama says and mafuyu complies by opening the case of the guitar.

"everytime i want to play it, it makes this weird sound.. i think i'm doing it wrong" mafuyu says, uenoyama grabs the guitar and try's to strum it, it sounds awful.

"your strings needs to be changed and tuned. i'll be right back" he set the guitar down and runs to his bag, grabs the materials and runs back. 

he quickly assembled the strings and tunes it successfully, he plays a chord and it's beautifully in tuned. mafuyu stares at him intensely as he did this so fast.

"how should i repay you?" mafuyu says.

"money, maybe you should praise me more, call me the god of guitars or something" uenoyama boasts proudly as he puts his two fist on his hips and raises his highly like he was some king.

"i have a twenty on me right now is that okay?" mafuyu says, he also pulls out his lunch he had been saving for later and offers it.

"u-uh no that's okay, suddenly money and your lunch don't interest me anymore keep it." he says as he sits back down next to mafuyu.

"how did you do that?" mafuyu ask him, he explained that everytime he played with the knobs at the top or and pluck the strings it all sounded weird and uneasy to his ears.

"like i said the strings needed to be changed and tuned. do you know anything about guitars? do you even know what model this is?" uenoyama said with slight irritation, how could he not be educated about something so simple when he'd been watching them play for a while now.

"model?" mafuyu looks confused he'd thought all guitars were the same just different colors and sizes.

"this is a gibson es-330, it's funny how you know nothing about instruments yet you stick around to watch us play" uenoyama spoke the last part under his breath.

mafuyu continued to watch uenoyama 'fix' the guitar he'd been holding onto all day, by testing if was correctly tuned he played a chord he was used to and mafuyu eyes gleamed with excitement and hurried asked him how.

"well can you teach me?" mafuyu said with pleasing eyes.

"no"

-

"no, i will not teach you" he simply says mafuyu stops in his tracks while uenoyama continues to walk down the street.

"oh come on" mafuyu says as he continues to beg him to give him lessons.

"why can't you go join the band at our school or something, i'm sure they'll teach you the basics" uenoyama said.

"it wouldn't be the same, in more comfortable with you" mafuyu blurts out.

"you're weird.. stop being weird and learn from someone else. i'm not a good teacher it's hard for me to get my point across without sounding incoherent" uenoyama says a bit harshly, but clearly wanted to end the conversation.

mafuyu sighs but then stops trying to pressure him, instead he just simply made up his mind on his next step.

learning the basics of the guitar.

-

he'd taken uenoyama's word by learning from the band at their school, he stopped showing up at the studio for a few days and stopped waiting for uenoyama at the class room, he even stopped hanging at their spot during lunch. 

obviously uenoyama began to worry if he'd scare mafuyu into think he was this rude person, he hadn't meant to sound so harsh but it's true he's not a great teacher what was he supposed to do.

Haruki-San | 

"oi uenoyama, have you seen mafuyu around?" haruki asked as he began to tune up his bass, and akihiko ran in as he was unusually late to their practices.

"nah i haven't seen him since our practice last week " uenoyama said, but started to feel a bit guilty. he wondered if what he said was too mean and he hurt his feelings, there wasn't too many people who sat and wanted to listen to them for hours without getting bored, there was this light in mafuyu's eyes that intrigued uenoyama only reason why he hand told him off yet. 

"i hope he comes back i kinda miss him"haruki says half jokingly, he too was fond of the orange haired male, he gave him a sense of pride whenever he sat and watched the band play.

after their practice they put all their instruments up and cleaned up the place, akihiko and haruki stood outside for a cigarette break while uenoyama headed out to his home.

once he opened his front door, screaming and crying was heard .

"let's put the scissors down and let's talk about it" his dad said trying to get his sister to calm down.

"what is it this time?" uenoyama asked with a blank look on his face with slight irritation.

"can't you see i've been dumped, i'll show that kaji that i'm better and hotter without him!" she screamed as she cut the bangs of her hair unevenly and his dad yelled and pleaded for her to stop.

once he entered his room he quickly undressed and began to write a song for his band.

-

next day arrived and the band was still playing taking a 15 minute break before resuming, the door handled open to reveal mafuyu standing at the door way. 

uenoyama was surprised he came by to practice, mafuyu silently bowed and sat near the wall he usually sat at. 

after the run through haruki and akihiko stepped out for a small break. 

"so where have you been?" uenoyama asked as he busied himself with sometime to not face him.

"i took your word and got help from the band kids, i think i got the basics down but.. can i show you?" mafuyu asked as he stood up and grabbed the guitar from his case.

uenoyama sighed and waited till he was ready, he hung the straps over his shoulders and positioned his fingers on the frets and his other on the steel strings. he tried to play chord but failed miserably, uenoyama took it upon hisself to him out a bit. haruki and akihiko came back in from their break and spotted the two going over the mistakes mafuyu made.

"can you teach me the thing you play in the staircase?" mafuyu asked, uenoyama caved in and taught him the chord he so begged for him to learn.

"you think they're getting along?" akihiko asked haruki as they witnessed the two in front of them.

"i hope so, it's good to see uenoyama getting out of his comfort zone.. very rare" haruki said with ease in his voice, uenoyama had always been this closed off guy to everyone.. to see him warm up to someone new was very exciting to the older pair.

after the practice everyone went their own ways home, mafuyu catching the late train and uenoyama caught a ride with akihiko. 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! i haven’t been updating because i have a job now and i’m working 40 hours a week, butttt i’ll try to update once a week from friday to sunday. i’ll be making this story more my own instead of quoting most of the scenes from the anime and manga! the first three chapters are heavily quoted from the anime so after this chapter i’ll be making it so that it’s more of what i planned it to be. thank you all for staying tuned in and reading my work! thank you.


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